No Resolutions! Just do better....

Hello all! For the past two New years I've told myself to just do better. I never stick to resolutions. I think, for me, I raise the bar to high. I know I'm a baby step type of person so it defeats the purpose to leap. Here are my list of things I really need to "Do Better" at this up coming year. Some things I have already started working on. Why wait, right? Right!

1. Finances. I need to do a better job at saving and actually follow a budget that I put in place. This means no eating out as much and not as much shopping. I have already started on not eating out as much. I tend to cook during the week now since I live a more healthy lifestyle. As for shopping...... Lets just say I got my work cut out for me.

2.Spend more time with God. This is definitely something I didn't get right this year. I was worse than the year before! My plan of action is to have a solid devotion time. It may not be every day but at least four times a week.

3. Giving and tithing. I have always struggled with this. My goal by July is to start giving 10% of my gross. I know, I know, that's what I'm supposed to be doing now. The thing that's really hard for me is giving my time. If someone ask me to contribute to a cause or event I pull out my wallet. I almost never volunteer my time or services. I must "Do Better" at this. I could really be using my gifts and talents to help someone in need of them. This brings me to my next point................

4. Use my gifts and talents more. I should be writing more. I'm pretty good at writing lyrics and I'm also great at writing poetry. I have been working on a book for the last seven years. I have trashed it numerous times because I wait so long to work on it. When I finally do get to it, I've grown so much that I feel the need to change things around or start all over. I also need to network more and get better at it.

5. Be more intentional and focused. I'm not very intentional. Meaning, I don't reach out much or try to cultivate new relationships unless I have to or unless they fall in my lap. My theory is my circle is big enough. At times its to crowded and over whelming.  This should not be my outlook, EVER. For one, I invest in some relationships that I shouldn't and spend time trying to make friendships work that really won't. I have already started working on this. I simply stopped reaching out to people who really don't reach out to me unless something is needed. We can still be cool. I just feel like my energy is better directed at other people and things.

6. Be a better friend. Don't get me wrong. I think I'm a good friend but I could use a little work. I have a tendency to be in my own little world at times and not really focused on what people are saying to me. I also rush people to get to the point. I absolutely hate when people tell me to much back ground when explaining something. The whole time I'm like "Get to the point!" Yes, I've said that before.  When I'm not being rude, I act like I'm listening and nod my head while I'm making a grocery list or coming up with something clever to say. I have slight ADD so it's hard for me to focus on what people are saying if it takes them to long to spit it out. Not an excuse just another "Do Better" moment.

7. Spend more time with my family. My real family. This is hard for me. Sure my sister is my best friend but I'm not really that close to the rest of my family like I should be. When I moved to Dallas I came across so many people that treated me life family only better. They prayed for me and encouraged me. For the first time I felt really loved and understood. It made me not have to deal with real issues and generational curses I was dealing with (and still dealing with) from my real family. I also have a God Mother and sister that I really need to spend more time with as well as a sister and cousins, aunts, and uncles from my biological father side that I need to put more if an effort into.

Believe it or not, this is not my whole "Do Better" list. Baby steps! What are you going to "Do Better" this year? Until next time.............................................

FUN, FUN, And More FUN!

Hello everyone! I hope your Christmas was awesome. I haven't blogged in the last seven days. I have been in my hometown, Paris TX, for five days. I ate, slept, played, and ate some more! I enjoyed seeing family and getting some much needed rest. I especially enjoyed my two nephews. Miles (22 months) and my handsome Malcolm (8 yrs old).

I can't believe how big they are getting. I also enjoyed spending time with my best friend, sister, and hostess with the mostess, Tiffaney! She's also a great cook! She cooked the majority of the food. All she asked was that I cook the macaroni and cheese! Sounds like a deal to me! Yep, that's my plate below (the first serving).

Best dressed goes to my cousins shoes! Watch out world!

Best tree with matching presents goes to my sis. She told me I couldn't put anything under her tree that didn't match the decor. I could use her wrap or she would wrap them for me lol. When I seen her tree, I knew why. It was gorgeous! The fun and festive wrapping paper was also great!

It has became out family tradition to have a Christmas Eve party every year. For the past two years we have played the best game ever. Left Right Center. If you've never played your missing out! Yes, that's all of my family gathered around the table to play it!

It was a pretty great night. We ended with family portraits and handing out gifts. I love this time of year! I hope your Christmas was full of love and joy. Until next time...................

Top Five Christmas Songs

Hello everyone! Welcome to this weeks edition of top five. I love this time of year. Although, I do believe the meaning of Christmas has gotten somewhat lost. Sometimes this makes me sad. So in order to get back in the spirit I reflect on what Christmas is all about. What else helps to pick me back up? Glad you asked! MUSIC! I.Love.Music! Especially Christmas  music. Here are my top five in order…

5. Justin Bieber- Mistletoe. This is a recent and surprising choice. Not really a big fan of Bieber but he has real talent. This song is not on the list for meaning but more for grooving to the sounds while kickin it with the fam.

   4.Boyz II Men- let It Snow. This song need no explanation! I have loved it
  for years. I remember when it came out. And the ending is my favorite part!

3. Maria Carey- All I want for Christmas. I don’t know about you, but the holiday is not complete without this song. I put the fun version below. I love when the kids pop up and start singing. Enjoy!

2. Stevie Wonder- What Christmas means to me. This song makes me want to snap my fingers and do a step. Such a high energy song. How can you be a Grinch when this is playing? You can’t! Get your grove on!

1. Donny Hathaway- This Christmas. My Christmas song of all time. “Shake a hand, shake a hand.” You gotta love it. The right amount of soul and class. The music and the voice come together perfectly!

Although those are my top five, the song that has the MOST meaning to is Little Drummer Boy. “Our finest gifts we bring to lay before the King.”  Please enjoy and let these words sink in. The true meaning of Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone and a happy New Year!

Blogger Day of Silence

John 3:16 

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."

 

The Weigh In

I have been absolutely nervous for about three days over this weigh in. Just in case you missed my post about the 21 day challenge I was apart of, you can read it here. I weigh myself every week. Last Monday the scale read 184. When I started off my challenge I was 187. I was bummed out about the 3 lb weight loss. I guess because I set a goal and thought I wouldn't make it. I have decided to share with you my actual stats! Here goes nothing (or everything).

                    Start         Now
BMI            34.10       32.70
Body Fat     37.3         36.6
lbs BF          69            65
Hips             45            45
Thigh           26 3/4     25 1/4   x2=3inch
Calf             15 3/4     15 1/2   x2=.5
Waist           35 1/2     35 1/4   x2=.5
Neck            13            13
Arm              13            13
Chest           42 3/4     42 1/4   .5
Weight          187          179

A total weight loss of 8 lbs and 4.5 inches in 21 days! I surpassed my weight loss goal by 1 lb. I didn't make my 7 inch goal, but that's okay. I'm pretty stoked about the 8 lb loss. In a later post I will break down exactly what I did. I want to see if this method continues work first. What's next? I'm going on a 30 day challenge starting tomorrow (gotta keep it moving). My goal for 30 days is ten lbs and six inches. I'm also considering hoping on  The Diet Bet my friend Kim recently blogged about. Two challenges at one time? "Could be, could be not. Who's to say."

                               

The Run Down: New Car, New Hair, New Favorite Song!

Welcome to this weeks edition of the rundown! Finally, I bought a new (new to me) car! My poor PT Cruiser was on its last leg and my last nerve. I was also down to my last penny in repair money. It stopped on me while I was finding a parking spot to my cousins baby shower. I was scared I wasn't going to make the 45 minute drive back home. I looked online for cars that were in my budget and decided on Nissan. After looking at several, I found the perfect gently used car for me. Meet Lola!
Speaking of baby shower, look at this fabulous cake! Yummy!
I have been bouncing the ideal around for a new hair color for weeks. I finally got the nerve to do it. I have been natural for four years and the only color I use is very black Clairol. I just think black makes my natural hair look healthier. Well, I was getting bored with it. I love the new look! Here’s a look at all angles!
 
This Thursday I had the pleasure of being invited to the Dream on Dallas holiday mixer (post coming soon)! Winner, winner, chicken dinner! I won two passes to the Black Girl Social. Black Girls Social (BGS) is a networking company supporting women of color to be who we are, unapologetically free to dream, create, explore the unknown and pursue all possibilities on our terms. I’m beginning to love to network so this is the event for me! Also, I love to see women doing well and exploring different areas of life (no matter the race). Excited!

I also have a new favorite song. Special delivery by Bridget Kelly. The first line had me at “Wrote him a good bye letter today.” Ladies, I know you feel me!

That's our Rundown for this week! Tune in next week for Top Five and my 21 day challenge finale!

A Heart For Kelli

 

Hello everyone! Meet my friend Kelli. She is a bright, energetic, beautiful mother of three.  She is not only my friend, but my sister in Christ. My sister needs a heart transplant.

Kelli, who is 36 years old, developed Cardiomyopathy and Congestive Heart Failure in 2011 when she became pregnant with her twin boys; Karson and Dillan born on February 7, 2012. At age 22 she battled Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma and after several rounds of chemotherapy, radiation and finally with a Stem Cell Transplant, she won her fight. Her heart is only functioning between 15-20% and she has just been placed on the heart transplant list which can take between 1-2 years to receive.

 

Here’s a snap shot of Dillan and Karson. I can’t believe they're already ten months! Below is Kelly and her eldest, Kaylan. Kaylan is the most mature eighteen year old I have ever met. She is also a college student.

 

 

Please join me in coming alongside this family.Below are three links to help support Kelli and her family; the first one links to a website with other links that enable you to directly donate on giveforward.com or to purchase a <3 For Kelli bracelet for $5. The 3rd link is our Facebook group “Support Kelli’s Heart” where we post informative updates and others can show their support through words of encouragement and/or prayer.

Kelli’s page http://www.giveforward.com/mysistersheart

Here’s the link to buy a $5 bracelet http://www.supportkellisheart.com/

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/groups/362833507139484/

Please pray for my friend and her family during this season.

                                

Finally, A Hair Regimen

Lets talk hair! Really and truly, I suck at taking care of my hair. I rarely comb it out. I don’t have a wash schedule. I also wash and go more than I probably should. I have been natural for almost four years and have yet to have a regimen. I’ve cut it a few times since going natural. After my first year I decided to cut it into a bob, and I have layered it twice. Here’s a pic of my last major cut. It was around Thanksgiving last year. One straight and then a week later I went back to curly. That has by far been my favorite hair cut. I decided to just chill and let my hair do its own thing and grow out….for now.

I read tons of hair blogs. The one thing they have in common is that every natural blogger I know has a hair regimen. After careful consideration I decided to go for it. Yes, I’m lazy and I hate doing my hair but if I want my hair to look better and be healthier and more manageable, I must at least try, Right? RIGHT? Here’s a breakdown of what I will attempt to do for at least four weeks.

Sunday night: Pre poo with Jamaican Black Castor oil on my scalp and Super Sweetback Treatment from Ms. Jessies. What’s a pre poo? Check out my review here. Wash with Mizani  shampoo or whatever I’m trying at the time. Comb out and braid, twist, or run wild and free. I prefer wild and free.

Tuesday and Wednesday: Protective style. I like to wear one braid down the middle or twist on the sides and a bun in the back.

Thursday: Co wash. This is when I use oil and conditioner for about 20 minutes then wash it out. I will either twist it out or run wild and free. More than likely wild and free.

Here’s a glimpse at what went down this Sunday. I blew my hair out because I’m getting it colored tomorrow and wanted it to be very little product on my hair. When I wear it curly, I usually put curl cream and something for shine. After I blew it out, I applied Do Grow to the scalp and Butter Cream from Ms. Jessies to my ends.










I made sure I didn’t flat twist tight because I wanted a loose look. Hardly any curls. More like a slight wave.



Here’s how it turned out!  I love it. I didn’t have to do anything this morning. Just take my twist down and run my finger through it. We shall see how long this hair regimen last.

What’s your hair regimen like? Got any tips for me on styles or products? I'm willing to try ALMOST anything! Be blessed and most of all be a blessing!


                                                  

The Last Goodbye

 “Had to grab my heart back. God knew something had to change.” AK

It always starts with a simple text. “Thinking about you.”   Another text follows. “I miss you. I’m sorry. Can we talk?”  Then he calls. The same cycle begins………Until now.

Lets start from the beginning. I knew three months in that he was not the one for me. I made a conscious decision to not care. Lesson one: Just cause he’s a good man does not mean he’s the one for me.  I didn’t care because I had the picture of who I wanted him be in my mind. I didn’t want to change him. I wanted love to change him. Lesson #2 WTH! Really?!  Don't get me wrong; he was not a bad guy by any means. We just wanted totally different things and never on the same page about anything. ANYTHING!

I also didn’t care because I was tired. I was tired of dating. I was tired of no calls or text from the opposite sex. I was tired of hanging out with girls all the time. Last but not least; I was tired of the thought that I would be alone one more birthday, Christmas, and Valentines day.

This went on for about a year. The break up to make up over and over every couple of months. It was getting harder and harder to let go because he became so familiar. I knew who it was when my phone rang or when I heard my text go off. I knew what he would say and do before he would do it or say it. I had to let go. I was hurting both of us in the process.

How did I do it? Glad you asked. I didn't answer the “thinking bout you” text. I ignored the “I miss you” text. I decided to let the phone ring. I can no longer talk to him. I can no longer be his friend. He can no longer be my go to guy. He can no longer rub my feet or kiss my forehead. I can no longer crack jokes on his lips or take up his whole couch when I’m watching TV. I didn't say goodbye to him physically. But mentally and in my heart I chunked up the deuces…………….

Are you still in a train wreck or love rollercoaster?  Are you going through a similar cycle?Do you plan to get off anytime soon or have you already gotten off and now healing? Lets discuss!

The Run Down- GIVE AWAY!!!

Hello everyone! As a sign of my appreciation for your continued support, I wanted to have our first ever give away!  My favorite product right now is pillow soft curls. My hair is soooo soft and my curls are more defined. All you have to do is post your favorite Blogging While Single post and tag me in it on Face Book. Simple as that! If you do not have a Face Book account, email me at bloggingwhilesingle@gmail.com. You can post as many times as you would like. Each post is an additional entry! Were also on Twitter, Jessica_BWS. You can follow me and repost and it will also count as an entry.  Good luck ladies!

 

Here’s an update on my 21 day challenge. Truly, it has been a challenge. Finding time and energy to exercise every day is tough but I know I have to. As of today I’ve lost two lbs since Monday. I’m hoping I can keep it up and make my 7lb 7inch goal by the 16th. Below are pics of what went down diet wise this week.

Black Friday and Cyber Monday got me feeling lint in my pockets. Geesh! I went deal overboard. Friday was my first time ever shopping at Hautelook. I bought a snake print Jessica Simpson dress and a plain black one just like it. I also bought a cute pear of moccasin like shoes. All for under 130.00; which is a great deal if you know how much Jessica Simpson usually runs for. I also thought I’d get my elf swag on and bought green shoes from JC Penny, along with other things. I don't know what to wear them with. I’m horrible matching colorful shoes with clothes. Maybe I’ll wear a leopard print turban with my black dress and green shoes. Or maybe not…. I also bought the 99 dollar camera that was at Target. It tok FOREVER!                                                                                                      

                  

 Turban love! I follow a group on Instagram by the name of Natural hair does care. Every Thursday isTurban Thursday. I work in corporate America so I’ve never been able to participate. Finally, I workedfrom home on Thursday and rocked my turban with my favorite lipstick (Mac Russian Red).

                                 

Last but not least, I have a Ratchet Moment to discuss. Okay, most of my friends know that I have a slight country/hood/ratchet side of me. With that said, I LOVE to watch country/hood/ratchet things on You Tube. I know, I know, the ratchet struggle is real. Anyway, I can’t stop watching Issa Rae’s Ratchet Piece Theatre. Yes, that's the name of it. It’s so inappropriate on every level. Her commentary has me cracking up. The language is horrible though so I’m not going to post the video but……….

So, how was your week? Don’t forget to post in order to get put into the drawing! Have a blessed rest of weekend!