Wednesday, December 5, 2012

The Last Goodbye

 “Had to grab my heart back. God knew something had to change.” AK

It always starts with a simple text. “Thinking about you.”   Another text follows. “I miss you. I’m sorry. Can we talk?”  Then he calls. The same cycle begins………Until now.

Lets start from the beginning. I knew three months in that he was not the one for me. I made a conscious decision to not care. Lesson one: Just cause he’s a good man does not mean he’s the one for me.  I didn’t care because I had the picture of who I wanted him be in my mind. I didn’t want to change him. I wanted love to change him. Lesson #2 WTH! Really?!  Don't get me wrong; he was not a bad guy by any means. We just wanted totally different things and never on the same page about anything. ANYTHING!

I also didn’t care because I was tired. I was tired of dating. I was tired of no calls or text from the opposite sex. I was tired of hanging out with girls all the time. Last but not least; I was tired of the thought that I would be alone one more birthday, Christmas, and Valentines day.

This went on for about a year. The break up to make up over and over every couple of months. It was getting harder and harder to let go because he became so familiar. I knew who it was when my phone rang or when I heard my text go off. I knew what he would say and do before he would do it or say it. I had to let go. I was hurting both of us in the process.

How did I do it? Glad you asked. I didn't answer the “thinking bout you” text. I ignored the “I miss you” text. I decided to let the phone ring. I can no longer talk to him. I can no longer be his friend. He can no longer be my go to guy. He can no longer rub my feet or kiss my forehead. I can no longer crack jokes on his lips or take up his whole couch when I’m watching TV. I didn't say goodbye to him physically. But mentally and in my heart I chunked up the deuces…………….

Are you still in a train wreck or love rollercoaster?  Are you going through a similar cycle?Do you plan to get off anytime soon or have you already gotten off and now healing? Lets discuss!

jessie_blogsignature





16 comments:

  1. Hey Im one of your newest followers from the Lovely Blog Hop. I would love for you to follow me back!
    http://www.navywif33.com

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  2. Hi thanks so so much for paying me a blog visit. Glad you like the blog...like yourself, I new to this entire blog world too! Keep in touch. xoxo's - A Fab Tail (your newest follower)!

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  3. Hi I found you through the blog hop :-) I am your newest follower dear, feel free to visit my blog anytime :-)

    kisses Pakize (Keke)

    http://madamekeke.blogspot.com

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  4. you know I can so relate to the not wanting to be alone, I'm pretty sure many a young woman can. So glad you had the strength to free yourself up for the right thing. =)

    Aloha,
    I'm stopping by from A Lovely Army wife to say "hi" and to invite you to join me at Local Sugar Hawaii, we're riding the wave of life one adventure at a time.

    Join us today for An Aloha Affair, a sweet gathering and growing together of creative souls. You are always welcome. Always.

    xo,
    Nicole
    localsugarhawaii.com

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  5. praying for you girl! my heart is always on a rollercoaster, stay strong!

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  6. Love the fact that you kept it so real in this post. I've been down that road a time or two myself. But hats off to you for not dragging it on & letting go. Your Mr. Right will come along when you & he are both ready for one another. And it will be so wonderful. My grandmother once told me that God would send to me who He wanted me to have. And she was right...my husband & I have been together for 16 years & married for 9. No one could ever handle me the way that man has. I know he was designed for me & I for him.

    New follower from Writing My Dreams
    www.writingmydreams.com

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for your kind words! I do believe that God is preparing my mate. Praise God for nine years of marriage! My God continue to bless you both. Thank for stopping by. I will be sure to read and join your blog. Peace and blessings!

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  7. Hi, good for you for being strong and walking away. You will know in your heart when you meet the one who is right for you, as it will be more right than wrong. I felt this when I met my husband of 2.5 years of marriage. No relationship is perfect, and they all take effort but you need to be with someone like yourself who is willing to put the effort in. Good luck!

    Glad I connected with you from the Aloha blog hop.


    Fitnessbuster Supporting you in getting your fitness and nutrition back on track

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  8. Thanks Gillian! I can't wait to feel that feeling lol. Congrats on 2.5 years. I will be sure to follow back! Have an awesome weekend!

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  9. This is the hardest part of the relationship. You are a strong, beautiful woman for knowing what's best for YOU. Yay you! I am your newest follower and was hoping that you would follow me back!

    www.enjoyingtheepiphany.com

    xoxo-
    Sarah

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for stopping by Sarah! Thank you soooo much! I will be sure to follow you back. Love the name of your blog and I can't wait to check it out!

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  10. hi, i following the "aloha affair" blog hop. i would love for you to visit my blog and follow if you like it.

    http://www.blackinkpaperie.blogspot.com

    thanks
    new follower bev

    ReplyDelete