40 Before 40 Part One

Greetings everyone!

How are you? Whatcha been up to? I've just been here getting it together. You know, QUEENIN!

Since we've last talked, I turned 35! I'm actually excited to be 35. I think it's due to me looking 27 (I know that I'm tooting my own horn! Not sorry)! I enjoy being blessed with  another year to get it right. Here's the thing; I don't feel like an adult sometimes. I just feel like I'm walking through life trying to figure it out as I go. Although the title of my blog states I'm "Living For A Living", I'm really not. I've been barely getting by. Woking long hours and ignoring my creative side has really made my scales unbalanced.

I plan to fix that starting NOW! Not only did I sign up for a vision board class (coming up this weekend), I also made a 40 before 40 list. I figure I have 5 years (Lord willing) to do 40 things that bring joy to my entire being and excitement to my life. I also figure I should write the vision and make it plain. Habakkuk 2:2. So here goes half of my list....

1. Learn to swim
2. Skinny Dip (With my spouse)
3. Have abs (Or close to it lol)
4. Walk down the streets of DC with an afro
5. Wear only red lipstick with no other make-up (I have skin issues)
6. Walk on the beach with a two piece no matter what
7. Buy a car brand spanking new
8. Dance in the rain
9. Change my career
10. Create something epic
11. Take a girls trip with two friends/sisters
12. Buy a poodle and name him Tyrone
13. Have dinner in France
14. Ride a bike (it's been years)
15. Enjoy First Class
16. Ride a Camel
17. Cut off more than half my hair
18. Make self care a priority
19. Write a book (finish what I started)
20. Get another tattoo

Now, I know some of this is pretty basic BUT it's the little things that make life worth living. What's on your list? Have you even made a list?

Gold Digger?

Hello GREAT people!

Before you read, watch this!

Okay! Let's get to it!

I've read a ton of commentary via Facebook about how these two will never find a man and how much of a gold digger they both are. Some people have even went as far as to call them out their name and make fun of their looks. My thoughts may surprise you. While I agree  that they were over the top and could have been nicer; I also think that when it comes to looks, your preference is your preference. 

I thought it was a bit much to make them look unappealing to the ladies. Let's be real. How we look is the first thing our potential mate sees. Its really the only thing we have to go by until we get to know someone. One date does not allow you to get to now someone. Lets turn the tables. Rarely do men date women they are not physically attracted to.  I asked my husband if he date someone he wasn't physically attracted to and within a half of a second he stated NO. But women are supposed to? Hmmmmmm.....

Now, I do think it's rude to ask people how much they make. She was WAY out of line. When I was on the dating scene, I would simply ask them what they did for a living. Then if they made it past phase one (hehe) I would check out how they lived. What they drove. How they carry themselves. 

How they dressed. Here's why:

Dating in your 30s is different. I would only date potential if you were at least half way to your goal. Why? Because at this point in life I'm real grown! If you're thinking about raising a family and all that jazz, a man has to be at a point in his life where he's stable enough to do that. Now, this is my advice for ladies in there 30's. If you're in your 20's (early or mid) date as much potential as you like. Have fun. Travel. Live life! It got real in my 30s. I needed someone who was doing just as good as me or better. To be honest, I think thats fair. My dad planted that seed in me. He taught me that a man was supposed to take care of his family and provide.

Also, the best thing in life for me right now is knowing that if I don't have it, he got it. He got me. Potential may not be a soft pillow to fall on, but stability is. These ladies were over the top with their demands in our eyes, maybe. To me, deep down inside, we all want someone to take care of us. Not just financially either. We forget that men used to be the main bread winner. That women were put in positions where they could nurture and teach their children. Society has made it where the lines are blurred and now we have to be independent. In some cases, because we want to be. 

In closing, I would like to say there were a ton of things wrong in this short video. At least the women know what they want so that a man can take them at face value. We always say ask God for what you want specifically. We can't really fault them for that. Who knows. Maybe they will get exactly what they want (and the baggage that comes with it). Or maybe they will adjust and settle for the expectations that WE told them they should have....shrugs.

Pray Love Werk!

As I was strolling through magazines trying to collect pictures for my vision board, I was reminded that I needed a theme for the year. Everything is better with a theme, right? RIGHT! So the theme for this entire year is PRAY LOVE WERK!

PRAY: My prayer game is seriously lacking! I pray when i awake. Pray as I'm going and coming to work. I pray over all my meals with the same prayer. I'm praying but none of my prayers have substance. I say the same thing over and over again. I plan on praying more specific prayers and with more specific categories.

Example: 30 day prayer for my husband and marriage
                30 day self prayer for my mind, body, and spirit

LOVE: This means many things. I will work on loving the people around me deeper. I've turned into a "On the surface" type of person. I absolutely hate making new friends, but i will talk to any and everyone who talks to me. I also neglect the friends I have. I'm horrible at reaching out and making plans. Most of the time I'm just here at home, chilling! I will also show love to those I do not know. Trying to be less petty in the new year and more loving. Pray for me.

Werk! This is going to be most challenging one! I definitely need to work on my complacency. I've become OKAY with how things are going. Truthfully, they're not going so great. I feel like something is missing. Like a big chunk of life is going to waste. I use to have a clear direction and a ton of goals. I absolutely cried when I listened to Adele's Million Years Ago. If you haven't heard it, heres a few lyrics:

I know I'm not the only one
Who regrets the things they've done
Sometimes I just feel it's only me
Who can't stand the reflection that they see
I wish I could live a little more
Look up to the sky, not just the floor
I feel like my life is flashing by
And all I can do is watch and cry
I miss the air, I miss my friends
I miss my mother, I miss it when
Life was a party to be thrown
But that was a million years ago

OKAY, am i the only one that has a movie reel of their life playing in the background when this song is on. I Can't. Stop. Listening!

I also need to Werk my business and stop being so relaxed. I could also use a little more Werk in the dress department. I get ready in less than 30 minutes every morning. Nope, I do NOT pick out my clothing before I go to bed. NOPE, I do NOT iron anything AT ALL! And NOPE, I do NOT take anything to the cleaners. So, for the next 21 days I will get in the habit of looking better for ME. My outwardly appearance is important. I do, however, prep my hair at night. In the morning it only takes 5 minutes to do.

What are your goals for the year??? Comment below!

If you haven't already heard it.............