I've also been reflecting and healing. I still haven't written but my creative juices have been flowing. The piece that I'm presenting to you today is actually a piece I wrote for another blog back in February. I needed this today so I decided to share with my readers. I hope you enjoy.
To some people, loving yourself sounds like a no brainer. It sounds like a feeling or action that you should automatically have. Unfortunately, that may not be the case for so many women. How we were raised, if our father was around, the media, and so many factors somehow has played a part in the way we view ourselves. Some women even go as far as hating themselves due to these factors.
Let’s change that! For 21 days (or FOREVER) focus on you! Here are a few steps to help push you into the right direction. Let’s face it; we can’t have a healthy love for someone else until we have a healthy love for ourselves. Why 21 days? That’s how long it typically takes to form a habit.
Learn your love language and use it on yourself (and others). My love language is words of Affirmation. I started telling myself things I like to hear. Why? I wanted to renew my mind with positive thoughts about myself. Your thoughts can control you. Act of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch are the other love languages.
Address your baggage. This is important. So many times we carry “stuff” around that affects our relationship with other people and ourselves. Depression, fear, anxiety, and abandonment affect our lives and how we treat others. I have an issue with abandonment. I also grew up without my biological father. Do you see how these are closely related? I had to realize that it had nothing to do with me. I am enough with or without my earthly father.
Accept constructive criticism as constructive and not just criticism. It can be hard for people to critique us at times. We feel as though nothing we do is good enough or we can’t do anything right. This is not the case. Some people want to see us grow and do well in life. This brings me to my next point….
Surround yourself with positive people. Misery loves company. Don’t let people who aren't happy with themselves (or anybody else) transfer that energy to you. 1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.” Your friends should encourage you, love you, and tell you the truth.
Last but not least, find your purpose! We are most happy when doing something we love. What are your gifts and talents? Ask yourself, “What is it that I do well?” Or, “What is something that I would do for free?” This will not only allow you to be who God has called you to be, but it will allow you to be confident in your abilities. Your self esteem will be higher because of it.
This list is just the tip of the iceberg. In the words of India Arie “Go on and love yourself cause everything’s gonna be just fine.”